We don't always come out on the other side. Some people get sidelined and trapped in the hamster wheel, and really suffer. They are lost in the endless mind jungle of guilt and despair. My heart goes out to those who remain held in the grip of the inner gremlins.
One teacher I came upon recently called this your inner villain. I love that. The inner villain gets more and more power over you through the endless negative thoughts that bounce around in the mind, gaining power and amplitude.
The Course in Miracles says it this way: "The past is gone; seek not to preserve it in the special relationship that binds you to it, and would teach you salvation is past and so you must return to the past to find salvation. There is no fantasy that does not contain the dream of retribution for the past. Would you act out the dream, or let it go?
The fantasies it brings to its chosen relationships in which to act out its hate are fantasies of your destruction. For the ego holds the past against you, and in your escape from the past it sees itself deprived of the vengeance it believes you so justly merit. Yet without your alliance in your own destruction, the ego could not hold you to the past. That this is insane is obvious. But what is less obvious is that the present is useless to you while you pursue the ego's goal as its ally."
Wow. Powerful, no? The soulful journey is never the journey of the ego, which by it's nature is there to keep you in separation and therefore off course. Let's take my first statement about wrinkles as just one silly example. My ego would grasp onto the fact that I am aging and therefore not capable of truly living my dharma anymore. I am a has-been and nobody would listen to me. But really? In this attitude I would lay the fortune of my spiritual inheritance down and simply walk away from all my gifts, all of my history and the wisdom accrued along the way. AND NOT SHARE IT.
Too old, too young, not pretty enough, not ready yet...these are all the inner villain getting her way. Keeping me small, held back, not available to others.
That would be a pity. So instead I day, welcome Priestesses of time, of age. Welcome youths, welcome wizened ones, welcome mothers and brothers, welcome all to the unity of Oneness and Wonder. Let's commence on our deeper journeys of the soul, and ready our time, because it is now.